Month: January 2015

Pet Peeve #1


DSCN0508I am proud that I was born and raised in the mountains of Southwest Virginia. It helped make me who I am today and I like that. Am I a mountain woman? Yes. Redneck? Yes. Farm girl? You bet.  I say “Ya’ll”, “Bless it” and call people “Honey”.  I even drawl out the words “night, light and bright” with the best of them. I am intelligent, I write, I run a family business and try to present myself as professionally as possible. So why is it when I meet someone oh, lets just say “not from around here”….their perception of me and my ability to function decreases dramatically when they hear me speak because of my mountain accent?!? Yep, this is my Pet Peeve #1.

First let’s be honest. Thanks to the media, TV reality shows and movies most of the public who are not from the country (translation: a rural area) think that we are ignorant, backward, barefooted, inbred freaks. I mean can you blame them? If that is their only insight into our world they cannot be faulted entirely for thinking that way.  Luckily, the majority people who move into our communities are respectful and just looking for a quieter life at a slower pace.  There are a few others who exploit us by using “catchy” business phrases like “fer”(for) and “wud”(wood) in their slogans because they think it is cute. Seriously? It’s just insulting! And then there are those who move in thinking we are a people so underdeveloped that we need to be “helped” or those who think we are so ignorant that we can be duped. (Yes I just used the word duped in a sentence. Yay me!)

Well let me take the time to tell you a little about who we are. We are farmers who help put food on your tables. We are small business owners, craftsmen, teachers, homemakers, and white and blue collar workers.  We are survivors who have less need to panic when the “gloom and doom” accounts of food and water shortages are announced. We grow our vegetables (no preservatives). We raise livestock and hunt wild game for meat. Yes we kill animals for food.

We are a proud people. We hesitate to ask for things because we rather earn them. We help each other. We know most of our neighbors. Things that affect the economy may not affect us as badly or as quickly as our urban counterparts. We don’t mind traveling 20 miles to the grocery store just so we can come home to some of the most beautiful scenery on earth. People who grow up here maintain strong ties to the area even after they leave and most of us don’t “forget our raising”.  A good friend of mine told me once that our little community was “clannish as hell”……….I took that as a compliment.

Is it perfect? Heck no! But it is my home, my heritage and a way of life I will defend. And for those of you who want to degrade and devalue my culture without having a firsthand knowledge of who we are……I guess that makes you the ignorant ones.

 

 

2015…the year to ask “Why?”

Cathy Miller Photography
Cathy Miller Photography

I am not very good at positive reflection. Actually I suck at it. Let’s face it, negative reflection is much easier and wallowing in self-pity…I’m great at it! But I have learned quite a lot this past year. The most important thing I have learned is that 1) I will always be a “work in progress” and that’s ok. I realized that when I lost the desire to keep moving forward, when I just got comfortable with the crap because it was easier, I became stagnant. And just like a farm pond in the summer I got stinky and who I really am started to drain away. (Ok I cracked myself up at that analogy!) But it’s true!

2) Never be afraid to ask “Why?”.  A friend recently ask me why I put up a Christmas tree and hang stockings? She grew up in a Christian home but did not have a tree, gifts, stockings or Santa. Her family actually celebrated the birth of Jesus on Christmas! Great concept! I was pretty embarrassed when I could not answer the question. My first response was “Because that is what we have always done.” Wow, how lame. (I actually had to Google the history of the Christmas tree, and it isn’t that great.) Then I started thinking….how many things do we do in the name of tradition or in our everyday lives “just because that is what we have always done, or because that is what we were raised to do?”. Shouldn’t we know WHY we carry on traditions and pass them to our children? It is our responsibility to be mindful of our actions, not just to take the easy way out with a sorry excuse! “Just because it is what we have always done” is a pretty piss-poor way to exist without being aware of the “WHY?”.  And who knows, we just might learn something interesting!

3) I am my own worst enemy. I am very good at thinking that I have to “take care” of everyone else and forget about taking care of me! Truth is, it is very hard to “take care” of someone else and actually make a difference if your own life is in the potty. (Potty, not my first word choice, but it will do.) Why do I do it? I have realized that it is so easy to want to help others with their problems, issues, whatever, because it keeps me from having to deal with my own. Let’s face it, as humans our nature is to be people pleasers and recognition seekers. So much so that we become someone we are not just to gain acceptance or keep peace in our lives. Many times I have heard the phrase “Life’s A Stage”. That is great as long as we don’t get stuck in the “role” we are playing and lose who we really are. I compromised and I lost myself. I lost myself to the point that I didn’t recognize me, hell I didn’t even like me, and was almost to the point of no return. Then God intervened. He kept me from falling into that dark abyss where I was headed at about 100 mph. He made me ask myself “Why?” and honestly, I didn’t like the answers. He, along with great family and friends, helped me take stock of my world, helped me purge the negative and start to regain myself. And please do not think that this is easy or instantaneous! This has been taking place for over a year, it has been very hard and I still have to consciously fight the negativity that clouds my mind and threatens to take me down every day. But it gets a little easier all the time! “Life is full of compromises” some say. Sure, we daily compromise little things in our life, in our job and with our family. But when we are asked to compromise ourselves, our beliefs, our being who we really are…..this is a great time to stop and ask ourselves “Why?”.

So my goal for 2015. Don’t get so busy and comfortable with everyday tasks and traditions that I forget to stop to ask myself “why” I do the things I do. If I am satisfied with the answer and it gives me peace I will move on. If not, I will take stock, regroup, and start my own traditions! God Bless!